friendships

i often wonder what i'm doing wrong with friendships. friends seem to fade so quickly from my life. i've never had that many, and the ones i do have i have a hard time keeping. i've considered the self-fullfilling prophecy phenomenon, that is, that i think they'll lose interest so then sooner or later, they do. but it makes me sad. i don't want to keep feeling as if i have to try try try all the time. when do i get comfortable with people? when do i know i'll have a friend for life? is such a think even possible?

since i've started school i feel as if i've lost a lot of friends. part of it is lifestyle differences- many of them are undergoing major changes in their life, and certainly school has taken up a lot of my time. but i always took it for granted then when i was done with school i could just pick up with them and resume where we left off. now, i'm not so sure. they've moved on, stopped including me in their lives, stopped taking an interest in mine. and it leaves me to wonder, what did we ever have, if it is lost so quickly?