i;ve gotten confused with my writing lately. part of it is that i've lost some of my focus. but more than that, i feel as if i've got too much instruction in a way. my instinct for writing is gone, at least for now. i hope it comes back because i'm lost without it. i stumble around, trying one phrase after another, or sit in front of my computer wondering where the story is, and why i can't seem to find it and write about it.
it's alarming, really. and it's happened with my fiction work, too. i no longer feel like i know how to tell a tale. am i giving too much emotional reacitona bout my chaacter? is he philosophizing too much? am i firmly enough in his perspective, or am i floating somehwere above his head?
it's disconcerting. i hope it's a sign that i'm getting better as a writer, ut i'm not so sure. as long as i felt that my writing was bad, i felt that i was improving. but now, i just simply don't know. my judgement has vanished. i'm thrusting around with my pen, hoping somehow i'll manage to hit the paper and make my mark.
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incredible how the inner critic just destroys us! i often wonder whether the "workshop model" of writing programs really works or stifles creativity. but persist, and you will be surprised...because you have a strong inside and your voice will once again burst through!
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