diction

Pippin: "I didn't think it would end this way..."

Gandalf: "End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path...One that we all must take. The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all change to silver glass... And then you see it."

Pippin: "What? Gandalf? ...See what?"

Gandalf: "White shores...and beyond... the far green country under a swift sunrise."

Pippin: "Well, that isn't so bad."

Gandalf: "No...No it isn't."

Excerpted from the movie but the crucial phrases, of course, are all Tolkien's.

I've become extremely conscious of word choices recently. A good thing, I assure you. For example, in the previous sentence, is "extremely" necessary? Does it add anything? i think the answer is no. it adds an element of degree, but not much else. I'm learning a few well-chosen adjectives or just the right verb bring writing to life. And there's a certain art to passing on your meaning with as few words as possible, laying each one down with deliberate and precise meaning. Of course, one must balance leanness with rhythm and pacing, and sometimes that extra adjective just makes the sentence flow right - without it, the phrase would seem stilted and incomplete. I think most writers would agree grace should trump any grammatical rule.

Tolkien's phrases send shivers down my spine. In such few words, he evokes powerful emotion and imagery. How long did he sit and ponder his choices, trying diffent combinations until they rang true? Here's the original passage from the book:

And it seemed to him that as in his dream in the house of Bombadil, the grey rain-curtain turned all to silver glass and was rolled back, and he beheld white shores and beyond them a far green country under a swift sunrise.

Grey to silver is a clever transition. Nearly the same colors, but each carries unique connotations. "Was rolled back" - passive voice, which we're taught - ad nauseum - to avoid, but deliberate here, implying events beyond Frodo's control (and again, for grace. Can you imagine rewriting this into active tense?). "White shores" is just beautiful. One could argue "far" is redundant. After all, if it's beyond, wouldn't it be far? But "far green country" is more graceful than simply "green country", and we realize here that "far" might convey more than just physical distance, but spiritual, too. And finally, "swift", the adjective that brings motion to the entire sentence.

(okay, better go back to work...)