yea, i'll admit it. i'm the girl that would eat both marshmallows at once. i don't have any self control, it's hard for me to think about long term investment, and i'd trade off instant gratification because i have little trust in long term payoffs.
it's a concept called emotional intelligence, popularized by daniel goleman in this book. emotional intellignece is a concept most commonly illustrated as what happens when you put a marshmallow on a child's desk and tell them that they are welcome to eat the marshmallow now, if they want to, but if they wait five minutes without eating the marshmallow, they can have two marshmallow. studies have shown that the kids who wait are the ones who succeed in school, tend to be more popular, are happier, and ultimately succeed in life.
so i guess i'm doomed. i get frustrated easily because i do want everything now. it's not greed, it's the inability to see into the future, to invest in myself. why should i? my whole live i've seen that i need to get things while i can, because people die, circumstances change, money and opportunities are lost. it's so hard for me to envision success in the long term because i have no assurance that i will be here in the long term.
hence learning is frustrating, because all of that is about thinking about the future and investing in yourself.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Monday, April 24, 2006
craft of story telling
i know i writer who likes to be satisfied as a reader. everything should be laid out for her, explained in detail, every scene closing neatly and completely.
i guess i'm a bit more chaotic. for me, the art of writing, the style and the craft of telling the story is yet another opportunity to manipulate the reader. if a scene feels unfinished sometimes it's because, yeah, i was sloppy, but other times it's because i want the reader to feel unsettled and unnerved. i don't want to break the pace of the arc by lingering too long at the end. and yes, i could have slowed the pace to linger in that moment, the most crucial moment of the chapter, but i don't want to becuase for the characters, it's unsatisfying.
my writing buddy has also been urging me to put more emotion into my characters. i realize sometimes they are rather distant, but other times, i like them that way. to a certain extent, the reader has to call upon their own experience to empathize. everyone has been jilted by a lover, an many have experienced that moment where they know their partner has cheated on them. sure, i'll show you how my character gets angry and sad or whatever, but to a certain extent, if the reader has sympathy for the character, they are going to feel it, anyway.
i've also noticed that people create rules about writing. show, don't tell, stay in one perspective, avoid adjectives and adverbs, etc. etc. but many of the great books i know break this rule constantly. tolkein, for starters. and tom wolfe, even john irving. in other words, it's okay. it's all about the art and craft of story telling.
i guess i'm a bit more chaotic. for me, the art of writing, the style and the craft of telling the story is yet another opportunity to manipulate the reader. if a scene feels unfinished sometimes it's because, yeah, i was sloppy, but other times it's because i want the reader to feel unsettled and unnerved. i don't want to break the pace of the arc by lingering too long at the end. and yes, i could have slowed the pace to linger in that moment, the most crucial moment of the chapter, but i don't want to becuase for the characters, it's unsatisfying.
my writing buddy has also been urging me to put more emotion into my characters. i realize sometimes they are rather distant, but other times, i like them that way. to a certain extent, the reader has to call upon their own experience to empathize. everyone has been jilted by a lover, an many have experienced that moment where they know their partner has cheated on them. sure, i'll show you how my character gets angry and sad or whatever, but to a certain extent, if the reader has sympathy for the character, they are going to feel it, anyway.
i've also noticed that people create rules about writing. show, don't tell, stay in one perspective, avoid adjectives and adverbs, etc. etc. but many of the great books i know break this rule constantly. tolkein, for starters. and tom wolfe, even john irving. in other words, it's okay. it's all about the art and craft of story telling.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
most unsatisfying
nothing is better than a nap. you know, the kind where you wake up with drool on your cheek because you were sleeping so deeply. there's something indulgent, and uniquely refreshing about a nap, stolen in the middle of the day.
on the other hand, there is nothing worse than when you really really want to nap, but you can't. your eyes are droopy, you're suffering from food-coma, so you snuggle into your bed, anticipating a delicious sleep. but the buzzing in your head won't go away. sleep begins to settle, but like a defective sneeze, the sweet release into dreamland that you're seeking never quite comes to fruition. so you're left, like a refrigerator whose light won't go off when the doors closed, hovering just beyond the realm of refreshment.
finally, you give up, cranky and tired as ever. only now, your hair is all messed up.
on the other hand, there is nothing worse than when you really really want to nap, but you can't. your eyes are droopy, you're suffering from food-coma, so you snuggle into your bed, anticipating a delicious sleep. but the buzzing in your head won't go away. sleep begins to settle, but like a defective sneeze, the sweet release into dreamland that you're seeking never quite comes to fruition. so you're left, like a refrigerator whose light won't go off when the doors closed, hovering just beyond the realm of refreshment.
finally, you give up, cranky and tired as ever. only now, your hair is all messed up.
Monday, April 17, 2006
flies
i hate flies. there's three of them, circling, circling, circling in my living room. i'm not quite sure where they came from. the windows are usually closed, and even when open, they have screens.
at least these aren't the noisy flies. and they're getting slower- they must be dying soon.
at least these aren't the noisy flies. and they're getting slower- they must be dying soon.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
i'm giles
i can definitely live with that.
| Rupert Giles 63% amorality, 45% passion, 72% spirituality, 63% selflessness |
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Utterly calm and resolute in the face of danger, utterly devoted to his loved ones and comrades in arms, and utterly willing to do what is necessary to ensure that good overcomes evil. Giles knows the score, he knows that sometimes virtue relies on good men getting a little messy, and he's willing to take that on himself, largely so that others don't have to. You might share some of that. You most closely resemble one of the most popular heroes in the Buffy universe. Congratulations! If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback! Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in the following: Nerds, Geeks & Dorks Professional Wrestling Love & Sexuality America/Politics Thanks Again! -- THE 4-VARIABLE BUFFY PERSONALITY TEST |
My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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| Link: The 4-Variable Buffy Personality Test written by donathos on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test |
Saturday, April 15, 2006
i need a google function for my house
wouldn't it be great if all our items had rfids? then, when i'm looking for a specific book, i could just log onto my computer and run a google "my house" search on "keys". And a map of my house would show up, with my keys marked with a big balloon.
it's amazing how technology has changed the way we think.
it's amazing how technology has changed the way we think.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
blog junkie
so many blog ideas... so little time! i tease ryan all the time because he has a fetish for collecting domain names. i think he's finally pared them down a bit but he had quite a few (40 was it? am i exaggerating?)
but i'm a blog junkie. i love blogs. i use them like clothing, start one out, see how it feels. each one would reflect a different part of me, and i could click through them, like surveying the clothes in my closet.
but i'm a blog junkie. i love blogs. i use them like clothing, start one out, see how it feels. each one would reflect a different part of me, and i could click through them, like surveying the clothes in my closet.
crossing into the red
i've crossed into the red in three ways - one, i haven't paid my tuition yet because i don't have the money, hence, i've dipped into the red ink of debt. second, i'm interning at a public information office, dangerously close to public relations, the dark side of professional writing, to hear journalists tell it. and three, i'm working for the arch-enemy of my alma mater. those of you who know where i went to undergrad can figure it out.
so far, working for a public information office is fun, and frankly, i feel like i've learned more about journalism than i ever have at a newspaper. why? because people actually sit down and talk to me. within my first week i'd received more feedback about my writing than i had in five months of working at newspapers. all too often, editors seem just anxious to get the story and be done with it, so little mentoring is offered. so it's refreshing to know that people are actually aware you exist.
don't get me wrong, i miss newspapers. the hustle and bustle, the by-the-seat-of-your-pants comraderie, the endearing haphazardness, compared to the relatively well-oiled machine of an official communications office. and already, having to push the company line is annoying. people want to fix your stories, change their quotes. your ass, in other words, is theirs. you don't have a story - they do. your job is just to write it. that, and the kinds of stories you can do are pretty limited becuase they have to feature, obviously, the company you work for in some way or form.
but now i have a crystal clear knowledge of how information is transmitted. i've always wondered who writes those press releases. now i know. and it's kind of fun. i look at it as being an news assistant. everybody has a story inside them. we are all intricate, multi-layered beings, and my job is to tell their story.
so far, working for a public information office is fun, and frankly, i feel like i've learned more about journalism than i ever have at a newspaper. why? because people actually sit down and talk to me. within my first week i'd received more feedback about my writing than i had in five months of working at newspapers. all too often, editors seem just anxious to get the story and be done with it, so little mentoring is offered. so it's refreshing to know that people are actually aware you exist.
don't get me wrong, i miss newspapers. the hustle and bustle, the by-the-seat-of-your-pants comraderie, the endearing haphazardness, compared to the relatively well-oiled machine of an official communications office. and already, having to push the company line is annoying. people want to fix your stories, change their quotes. your ass, in other words, is theirs. you don't have a story - they do. your job is just to write it. that, and the kinds of stories you can do are pretty limited becuase they have to feature, obviously, the company you work for in some way or form.
but now i have a crystal clear knowledge of how information is transmitted. i've always wondered who writes those press releases. now i know. and it's kind of fun. i look at it as being an news assistant. everybody has a story inside them. we are all intricate, multi-layered beings, and my job is to tell their story.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
not ready!
i'm not ready to go back to school yet! in fact, i missed my first day - it was supposed to be today, but i completely blanked out and thought it started thursday. i looked through the syllabus that my cohorts sent me. is it possible that i feel this stressed out before the first week of school already??
argh!
argh!
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